Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am available for nakedness
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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