yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
