How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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