come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
