suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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