are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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