I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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