And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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