I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
