i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Randomize
