He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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