There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
