wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize