I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
