i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
