like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
