I want to stick my p in your. b.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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