i just wanna soil my oats bro
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
