Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
