How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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