I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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