make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
