Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
