Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
