I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
