you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
