I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
