I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize