I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
