Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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