Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
where am i from again
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
