The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
