just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
