So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
