all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
