wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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