i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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