Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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