I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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