I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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