do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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