We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
