Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
