we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
