You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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