Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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