sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
