OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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