I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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