i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
