I met the friendliest cop last night
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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