when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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