Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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