i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
