I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How does one acquire holy water?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
